Mending fences and a few jitters!

Have you ever said something you realized maybe wasn't the nicest thing ever, and regretted it for several years, even though by most people's estimation you were fully justified in it? Well I have. I said something pretty harsh to someone a year or two ago. At first, I felt liberated, and like "take that"! But very shortly after, especially after I learned of a difficult circumstance they were going through, I started feeling very bad.

Well... Mon I woke up at 5 a.m. worrying about this person and thought "huh, weird." Tues I woke up at 5 a.m. worrying about the person again - and I thought "weird - maybe I should try to be nicer". Wed when I woke up again at 5 a.m., again worrying about this person, I decided either someone was trying to tell me something, or I needed to apologize to get it off my chest, or something! But waking up feeling troubled three days in a row was enough. So, I got up and sent a quick email ~6 a.m. to this person. It wasn't long or anything, but I asked how they were and apologized, and got a very nice reply pretty quickly after. I have no idea if it was significant to them, but I felt so much better acknowledging my error and attempting to open a friendly dialogue again! Sometimes I can be very stubborn in holding grudges I guess (not too often thankfully!)

So... 5 more days of birth control pills - time is going by really fast!!! I'm excited but nervous about this month - I can't believe it is SEPTEMBER... holy cow. I think things are going to happen quickly!!!

Sort of random - but I got to go to the Native American Summit the past two days - what an interesting and cool conference! I don't know if I've heard so many interesting and diverse speakers in this type of setting before - and wonderful success stories of empowerment and hope. I never knew how complex the relationship between Native Americans and local, state, and federal governments are - it was a very enlightening experience to hear how things are set up and what the concerns are for the different Tribes in Utah. The way they value stories, history, and culture makes me want to do more to learn about my own ancestors, and certainly makes me appreciate my family's history and stories. I had to miss the discussion on health issues, but still thought it was a great experience.

We sat near a beautiful couple today - I love being around people who you can tell love each other. Such a cool thing.

Another neat thing was that each day started with a prayer - yesterday, the person saying the prayer even made a point that he didn't think you'd ever find an atheist among any Native Americans - their cultures are so tied to a belief in the Creator and a spiritual side. The prayer he gave in his native language was beautiful. It inspired me to remember we never need to be apologetic for our beliefs, no matter what they are.

OK enough for now!

Countdown to IVF has begun - as much as possible with unknowns anyway - 9 days 'til shots start! Hooray...? ;)