Kind of freaking out/update from appt today

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster in terms of my emotions the past couple of days!

Yesterday in the morning I felt really sad and jealous of the 10+ friends I have who are currently pregnant - I hate to admit that, but it's true... Then by noon I felt much calmer - and by last night I was feeling excited and like things will be ok. The shot even seemed like a piece of cake!

I felt pretty good going to my appointment this morning - I had scoped out a few spots where there might be be a good vein or two, and my blood draw went pretty well - didn't hurt and the vein I'd scoped out worked.

My ultrasound showed some large follicles developing, but not very many of them. I'm kind of having anxiety about that, though I know it just is what it is. Dr. Heiner said he thinks "I'll end up with three" - but I don't know if he means three follicles, eggs, or embryos! He said I'm progressing quickly and may be running early - I checked with the nurse and I do start my antagonist (Ganirilex) tonight - my dosing today and tomorrow will be:

• 20 units low-dose HCG
• 3 vials Bravelle (this is increased since I'm starting on the antagonist)
• 1 dose Ganirilex

The Ganirilex is a separate shot, but it should only be 4 more days of taking these shots before my trigger dose.

For anyone who is keeping us in your thoughts/prayers -thank you! It is making a difference and is certainly appreciated.

Hoping my follicles/eggs keep growing and do what they need to - as Dr. Heiner said, it only takes one embryo in the end if it works!

P.S. I was able to look at info from my appt in the patient portal - my estradiol level isn't posted (kind of weird) but info re: follicles was. This is what I think I've got - all in my right ovary - 7 developing follicles, mean measurement noted (I think this is the approx diameter):

1. 9.84 mm
2. 13.79 mm
3. 16.2 mm
4. 12.3 mm
5. 12.5 mm
6. 7.2 mm
7. 8.03 mm
   

I also found some info online that indicates follicles, when stimulated, grow approx 1-2 mm/day, and they want to retrieve eggs from follicles that are at least 17-18 mm in size.

So... if I end up taking my trigger dose Mon night, that means I have at least 4 more days of stimulation. Assuming an average growth of 1.5 mm/day, this would mean ~6 mm more in growth per follicle - and may result in the following:

1. 15.84 mm
2. 19.79 mm
3. 22.2 mm
4. 18.3 mm
5. 18.5 mm
6. 13.2 mm
7. 14.03 mm

So... hopefully ~4-5 will be ready for retrieval. No guarantees on that, or on how many will survive the ICSI procedure. Hopefully at least 2, maybe 3...? Would love to have at least one that could be frozen in case this doesn't work the first time, or so we could try again later if we want another baby.

BUT - this is out of our control - gotta turn it over to God and keep praying we'll get at least one!

Fingers crossed!!!